The Naughty Socialites Guide to the Good Life!

Emily Banks: The War On Woman Part 2: Sexual Violence Against Women

2011-03-22T05:29:00.000-07:00

I’m going to apologize in advance for the chaotic ramblyness (is it a word if I add it to Microsoft’s Dictionary as I’m typing?) of this particular piece. It’s a charged topic in and of itself, but it’s also particularly personal to me, so my thoughts are rather all over the place. I’ll try to keep it coherent.

So. Rape. It’s pretty bad, right? I mean, I think most of us can agree that rape, as an act, is pretty shitty.

Well, not everyone agrees. Most notably: many GOP lawmakers.

First , as I mentioned last time, there was the Representative from New Jersey who wanted to cut abortion funding by making sure only women who were “forcibly raped” qualified for funded terminations. What and who defines what is forcible? Meh, inconsequential details to be hammered out at a later date. (Enough people freaked the hell out over this one, though, and the phrase “forcible rape” was removed from the bill.)

THEN, the very same day that the FemiNazis forced Rep. Smith to drop the word “force,” a Georgia representative wrote some legislation to (wait for it) refer to women who have been raped as ACCUSERS, rather than victims, until there is a conviction.

Yes.

Accusers.

Because, you know, rape is SO over reported, and so often women just make it up for attention.

The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network states that only 40% of rapes/sexual assaults are reported. And of those 40%? Only about 16% of the rapists spend a single day in jail. So, then, only 16% of the women who report their attack would be considered “victims.” All the rest of them, including those who never go to the authorities, are “accusers”.

Excellent.

Is it because these Representatives are men? Not necessarily. Remember Governor Palin charging rape “accusers” the cost of having the forensic evidence collected?

What is UP with this?

But it doesn’t end here.

A few weeks ago the NY Times ran a piece on a terrible gang rape of an eleven year old girl by eighteen men, aged 14 to 27. The journalist focused on such things as “how could their young men have been drawn into such an act?” and used a quote from a towns person stating: “These boys have to live with this the rest of their lives” or asking where the girl’s mother was. Details included how the girl dressed (too old) and the company she kept (older boys).

Sometimes it’s hard to know where to start with something like this. Well, how about here: if an eleven year old girl prances up to a 20+ year old man and says “let’s have sex,” the answer is no. Pure. And. Simple. Or what about the idea that this girl’s mother should have known her exact whereabouts at the time of the assault. To include a question of where the mother was implies that the mother is to blame. This is not true. The terrible men who committed this crime are to blame. That’s it.

As far as even mentioning how the girl dressed? There’s no excuse. She could have been naked, and it STILL wouldn’t matter. And this, this is the part that really kills me. This little detail. This and the aside of hanging out with older boys. It’s the worst part of the entire article. It’s sneaky, it’s subtle, but it’s blame. It’s blame for the child. For the girl. It’s putting guilt on the victim, it’s implying she asked for it. She wanted it. She should have known better.

And that’s what rape and abuse does, too. Aside from the physical trauma, sexual violence makes you feel ashamed. Guilty. Bad. It makes you feel that way as an adult. Even more so as a child, because you don’t have a firm grasp on the fact that what just happened was wrong.

I speak from experience, in both cases.

And the guilt and the self blame and the feeling that “if only I’d….” That’s the hardest part to beat. (Well, one of the hardest parts). To have a well reputed, well established, national publication confirm your worst fears? To have lawmakers, elected leaders, say that you’re not a victim unless someone goes to jail? To have them say that YOU are financially responsible for determining IF a crime was a committed? To have the government doubt you before you open your mouth? It’s only going to make the path to recovery that much harder.

I don’t know what is going on right now. I don’t know why women are so hated. I don’t know what we’ve done to deserve this vitriol. But it’s happening more and more. Every day, it seems, there’s a new story about some boneheaded politician stomping all over women’s rights (and safety).

But people LISTEN to these boneheads. Their words have repercussions. And it’s terrifying to think that we don’t yet know how far those repercussions will reach.

Photograph courtesy of Raped at Tufts

The Planned Parenthood Pink Bus is Coming to Cleveland!

2011-03-21T08:45:00.001-07:00

Stand With PLANNED PARENTHOOD

Cleveland Rally

March 23rd, 12:00-1:30pm

Cleveland Health Center

7997 Euclid Ave, Cleveland, OH

The big pink Planned Parenthood bus is stopping in Cleveland, OH! It is time for Northeast Ohio to stand up, speak out, and show their support for Planned Parenthood!

Questions? Comments? Contact Ashley at Ashley.nicole.thompson@gmail.com

Sexy Safe Sex!

2011-03-20T20:18:00.000-07:00

If you’re under 18 or the least bit prude well you may want to avoid this. Ok, now you've been warned and there’s really no other way to word it. I’m sorry in advance to anyone I know who is going to be least bit scandalized. Trust me, I only have the sexual health and safety of your sons, daughters and grandchildren in mind and if you won’t talk to them about sex someone’s got to before it’s too late.

Why so blunt you might ask? Well, with the current threat to Planned Parenthood and other organizations who are working swiftly to take away our rights to choice, cancer screenings and sex education, it occurs to me that we’ve got to begin to talk about these things and fast. April is closing in on us fast and April is STD awareness month. In that spirit I’m going to talk about the single most important thing that you can learn to do that will always keep you safe, generally STD free and not pregnant and that is always using a condom. And..the best way to get him excited about the whole concept is to learn to put it on with your mouth.

It’s a fact that most men don’t like to wear condoms and it’s true, they do have a way of interfering with the moment. But this is a trick that’s almost foolproof and will have any man happily begging you to use it. And we all know that if he’s happy, we’re happy. And if he’ll willingly wear a condom, then you’ve reduced your chances of getting pregnant or contracting an STD by a lot!

This is fairly easy to do and the first thing to remember is to use the non- lubricated/no spermicide condoms. This advice is given with the hopes that you aren’t just using the condom as your only form of birth control or that you are applying a spermicide after you’ve put the condom on. You’ll use lubricant later so don’t worry about that either.

So the first step is very simple and that is to open the condom and take it out of the packet without tearing it. If you think that you have, try again. Keep practicing because this is one place where practice makes perfect and practice is totally hot. Trust me…no man will ever get mad at you for practicing this sweet little move!

Then hold your mouth open just a little bit and put the condom just in front of your teeth and your tongue right at the tip (the raised part) of the condom. Hold the shaft of the penis so that you’re steady and then open your mouth a bit wider, placing the head of the penis in your mouth. With just the right amount of pressure (and this is where practicing is fun) begin to roll the condom down the shaft of the penis with your mouth and your tongue. Go as far as you can and don’t be afraid to use your hand at the end to help get it on all of the way. Be sure to watch your teeth!

Now you can use the lubricant and this is a pretty important thing. Get lubricant that’s natural…I know that many swear by KY but I prefer an organic product like Emerita, it’s really much better for you. Hathor Aphrodisia makes great organic flavored products too if that’s your preference! Check out The Sensual Vegan for a great selection of products that really work and are good for you too! How about yummy chocolate strawberry, Hazelnut Caramel or Coconut Orange? Whatever your pleasure, just grab a tube give him a kiss , relax and just have fun!

Now that wasn't so bad was it?

Photograph courtesy of http://hathorbody.com/

Emily Banks: The War on Women Part 1: Reproductive Rights

2011-03-04T11:14:00.000-08:00

It seems like any time you read the news these days (or, rather, selective news sites: HuffPo, CNN, DailyKos…anything not run by NBC or Fox or ABC, in essence), there is a new story about the attack on women’s rights. The Pence Amendment to defund Planned Parenthood. A motion to eliminate Title X family planning (which, by the way, exists to help PREVENT unplanned pregnancies, not just terminate them; it also provides health screenings for low income women). Legislation to classify killing abortion providers as “manslaughter” instead of murder. To classify not only abortion, but also miscarriages without verifiable proof that there was no “human involvement,” as felonies punishable by the death penalty.

It’s outrageous, yes. It’s scary and infuriating and sickening and a whole bunch of other adjectives that cannot adequately describe what bills, laws, words, and attitudes like these are doing to the psyche of American women.

This isn’t about abortion. I know, right? It seems like it is. Abortion is one of the biggest buzz words going around political circles right now. Antiabortion. Abortion providers. Abortion proponents. The word is everywhere you turn.

It’s not even about being prolife or prochoice (as if the two are mutually exclusive). If it were, there’d be a lot more conversation about what prolife actually means (I’m prolife: I’m against a war based on lies, I’m for healthcare reform so that fewer people die of treatable diseases, I’m for not extending tax breaks for the wealthiest 2% so that social funding can keep people out of deadly poverty….I also happen to be for a woman’s right to choose whether or not to have a child.) There would be discussions about how a society that forces women to have children they cannot afford will help feed and house and clothe them.

This is about keeping women in their place. About telling them what to do. It’s about not trusting them to make tough decisions about their lives, their bodies, and their morals. It’s about letting the men stay in charge.

The abortions that WOULD be permitted? It depends on which white male is talking. “Forced rape” is a widely acceptable instance to permit the termination of a pregnancy; but then, of course, the woman would have to prove that she was forcibly raped. To a man. Another man telling her what to do against her wishes. Sometimes the woman’s own life may be saved by ending a pregnancy, but not always. I mean, after all, the woman has already lived her life! It’s her duty to provide life to another even if it kills her, right? Right…

I’ve heard and read various pundits referring to this … situation… as the “woman as cattle” movement. The idea being that those heading up these anti-women movements view women as nothing more than cattle to be bred and forgotten. But, really, it’s worse than that. Cattle raisers can get federal aide to help protect their livestock.

If any of these ideas turn into actual actions, then women will have less government support than cows.

And no matter what your stance on abortion is, for it, against, undecided, or circumstantial, the idea that women are treated with less respect than livestock is not OK. On any level.

Planned Parenthood Photograph courtesy of http://untitledtype.com/

Sexy Self Awareness: The Sacred Prostitute

2011-03-02T09:44:00.000-08:00

This is unabashedly my favorite book. I read it for the first time at 28 while trying to rediscover my own sexuality having recently become a new mother. I remember feeling not at all like myself and wondering if I would ever be able to reconcile the two parts of my psyche, that of being a lover to my husband yet a mother to my son.

From the Midwest Book Review comes this statement:

"When the Goddess of Love was still honored, the sacred prostitute was virgin in the original sense of the word (one-in-herself), a person of deep integrity whose welcome for the stranger was radiant, self-confident and sensuous. Her purpose was to bring the goddess' love into direct contact with mankind. In antiquity, human sexuality and the religious attitude were inseparable. The Sacred Prostitute: Eternal Aspect Of The Feminine is solidly based on Jungian psychological principles and powerfully illustrates how our vitality and capacity for joy depend on restoring the soul of the sacred prostitute to its rightful place in our conscious understanding. The Sacred Prostitute is engaging reading that provides a great deal of thoughtful observations on the nature of human sexuality and its relationship to the well-balanced personality and the health and stability of human society." -- Midwest Book Review

I couldn't agree more. In this current time and place where a women's motivations, thoughts and persona are suspect and consistently up against the scrutiny of a world gone puritanical through fear, we need the vision of the Sacred Prostitute , the human manifestation of the Goddess of love to keep our awareness of our sexual and sensual natures strong. We don't yet another book that teaches us how to have mind blowing sex, these thoroughly strange times call for a masterful understanding of ourselves as sensual beings knowing that we belong to no one but ourselves and that we can give ourselves to whomever we choose, whenever we choose without fear or recrimination. As my lovely gray haired gynecologist told me once, "Great sex has to do with that 6 inches between your ears!" I agree and once you've gathered the courage to look inside and find the Goddess who lives within you, sex truly becomes an adventure, a journey into the wilderness of passion instead of a "conjugal duty" . Imagine a world filled with women who were no longer afraid or ashamed of their bodies? What would this mean for the men in our lives? Our children? Our health? Our Politics? Our Earth?

An awakened woman (or man for that matter) is a powerfully frightening creature for any group that is hellbent on controlling the primitive forces of nature like sexuality and pregnancy. It's no surprise to me that the same group that is currently trying to take away my rights to exercise choice over my body are also trying to curtail religious freedoms and sexual rights for anyone who does not believe as they do. This is a religious war being foisted upon us once again, by extreme right wing zealots who care nothing for anyone else beliefs, only their own.It's the inquisition all over again and if you don't believe me ,just read some of the anti abortion legislation that is pending on the books to make a miscarriage a investigable crime. It is naive, immoral and very short sighted with the possibility of devastating consequences for us all if we do not begin to claim our power in this time and place. I encourage you to read this book. It will shatter your current awareness and open you up to all kinds of new possibilities for yourself and everyone you love.

Here's the link!

Testing

2011-02-21T12:11:00.000-08:00

EGKR3FC5675J

Maybe they'll finally end this madness if we just stop having sex with them!

2011-02-20T19:24:00.000-08:00

"Lysistrata, open up the bedroom door
What is the matter, ain't you in love with me no more?
I enlisted in the army today
One more time before I march away
Make me feel like a big strong man

You say you don't care about my pride
You love me too much just to let me die
And you won't let me come inside
Unless I don't go to war no more

Lysistrata, little boys like to have their fun
And you know I gotta put on my colors and get my gun
Every able bodied man that I know
Every patriot is packed to go

Won't you give me a last goodbye
I'll be sent off to a distant land
to spill my blood upon some foreign sand
And I may die by an enemy's hand
And then I won't go to war no more, war no more and no
Then I won't go to war no more

Send the boys all back to the farm
Tell the troops it was a false alarm
'Cause if I die I wanna be in your arms
And so I won't go to war, no, I won't go to war
Said I won't go to war no more"

Lyrics and music by Utopia

Lysistrata was a play that was originally conceived and performed in Athens in 411 BC. I remember when I first read it, I was dumbstruck by it's hilarity and wondered what would happen if such a strategy was implemented today. A comedy of epic proportions , Lysistrata is the story of a woman's inspired attempt to bring a swift close to The Peloponnesian War. Lysistrata successfully convinces the women of Greece to withhold sexual privileges from their husbands and lovers so to bring about the desperate conditions that would force the men to swiftly overcome their differences and choose peace. It's a Greek comedy full of fabulous manipulations , explicit sexual exoticism and lots of bawdy language, and the premise is brilliant.

Remembering Lysistrata and thinking about the heinous assault that women's rights are currently enduring in our statehouses all over the country I'm left wondering whether or not we should all band together and implement as simple strategy as she did. Truthfully they can't and shouldn't have it both ways. Why should we give the men of this country unfettered access to our bodies when they don't respect them and are trying to take away our rights to them? So, my thought is simple....Women of America... as much as the thought pains me perhaps we should go on sexual strike. Even if you're like me and you have a great man who supports your rights to choose, a statement made by all of us is a huge one. I see no reason at all that we can't end this madness in as simple fashion as this and the good ones will stand right by our sides....my husband reluctantly thinks that it's actually a very effective idea:)

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty fed up and ready to take action...Don't worry, it'll probably only take a week:)

All Women Need to be Feminists these Days!

2011-02-18T20:58:00.000-08:00

The article below was written by my dear friend Emily Banks , who just happens to be the wife of one of my oldest friends. When I first stated spending time in San Diego, I found my friend John on Facebook and immediately looked him up and invited him to lunch. It had been 30 years since we'd seen each other and when he came to lunch he brought his lovely girlfriend with him. Em and I became fast friends, sharing everything from beach picnics to chocolate to Harry Potter and to my delight several months later my pal did the smart thing and married this completely brilliant woman. They have a beautiful baby named Xander and are owned by a fabulous dog named Tonks. Emily will be a regular contributor here on Perfumerotica and she has a razor sharp and fearless wit and is possessed of utterly irrepressible charm. The best part? She's actually about 20 years younger than me and she totally "gets it". She writes a wonderful blog called "Emily's Hollow", which you can find the link to in the Contributors section of this site. My son thinks that she's the funniest human being that he's ever met and I think that he's right. If you are ever lucky enough to meet her, beg her to bake something for you....grovel if you have to and get ready to love her as much as I do.....

I’ve never considered myself a feminist. Not really. I mean, yes, I think women and men should be equal; but that’s about as far as I ever went with it. Growing up, feminism was something we made fun of in my house. Rush Limbaugh played in the car and, before I knew what a feminist was, I heard his voice saying “feminazi” to my parents’ laughter.
Don’t get me wrong, my parents never taught me that it was OK for me to be treated poorly because I was a girl. They didn’t raise me to think all I could do was clean house and make babies. They expected me to go to college, just like my brothers. They taught me to work to support myself. But, yes, they were also very conservative in their social beliefs. Women saying they were unequal were just trying to Make A Point, Get Attention, or, I don’t know. It’s the same mentality that said affirmative action is unfair to white men because minorities are already protected, or that civil unions for same sex couples are the same thing as marriage.

I was also raised in the Evangelical church. Women were subservient to men. Women shouldn’t preach. Wives submit to and obey their husbands. Men lead their families, as Christ leads the Church.

It’s just The Way Things Were.

But the truth is, all women need to be feminists these days. Sure, we can vote. We can drive. We’re “equal.”
But, we’re not.
We earn 23% less than men, on average. We don’t get into leadership positions as often (the makeup of women in Congress is 18%, compared to women making up 50% of the general population in 2009). This male-led Congress is stepping in and trying to revoke our rights to reproductive choices, redefining rape, and even trying to alter the legal language to make rape a victimless crime.

No matter what your political leanings are, these facts are unacceptable. Women need to stand up and remind men, and themselves, that we are capable of making decisions, that we are worthy of equal pay, and that violence against us is NOT a victimless act, it’s a hate crime.

And if standing up for ourselves, our safety, our rights, earns us nasty nicknames, then oh well. Women, gays, Hispanics, whomever, it’s about damn time it’s stops Being A Thing, don’t you think? People. We’re people. And we all deserve respect.

Thank you Jackie Speier!

2011-02-18T10:35:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm very moved , touched and inspired. Jackie Speier, the Gentlewoman from the Great State of California just said it all. No one faced with an unplanned pregnancy or a planned pregnancy that becomes dangerous takes the decision to have an abortion lightly. For anyone , male or female to stand up on the floor of the House of Representatives and suggest otherwise is completely irresponsible and an amoral affront to our inherent rights over our own minds as well as bodies. I wonder just how quickly the girlfriends of some of these same congressman would be sent off to have an abortion if one of them accidentally got pregnant?

Planned Parenthood is an organization that gives the women and men of this country the knowledge that they need to make informed choices about their reproductive health. They don't even use federal funding to provide abortions.The argument is simple. If you don't believe in abortion , don't choose to have one. If you don't want to use birth control, abstain from sex. If you don't want your teenagers to end up with unplanned pregnancies and STD's talk to them, stop burying your head in the sands of "their not going to". Most of them are and if you won't or can't talk to them, support valuable organizations like Planned Parenthood who will. Your kids lives could depend on it so if you value their reproductive rights..Speak up now!

CALL 202-684-2473 ask for your Representative's Office and let them know that you completely oppose the Pence Amendment to Defund Planned Parenthood. While you're at it, you might ask them to consider what in God's name this has to do with creating new jobs and a stronger economy?

A Chilling Truth.....

2011-02-17T18:12:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid this was how it was for women who found themselves unexpectedly pregnant. You always heard stories about girls that were banished from their families, sent off to live in other places with relatives far from their homes to have their babies only to be forced to give them up for adoption or worse yet about women such a the one depicted here who had no choice but to try to perform the dangerous abortion procedure themselves with a coat hanger. Those whose parents could afford it were generally sent off to a doctor who performed abortions illegally in another state but those who didn't had to opt to do it themselves. Now the GOP is currently trying to force us back into the dark ages with an unprecedented attack on women's rights that hasn't been seen for decades. This isn't about "life" , it's a war against women and it's time to fight back.

Our Rights are Under Attack as Never Before

2011-02-14T12:54:00.000-08:00

This blog was originally going to be fun and frivolous, a basic perfume, fashion, fell good sort of weekly magazine. But times and circumstances have changed. A child of passionate activists, I can never turn away from an attack on personal rights. Make no mistake...our rights are under attack as never before. My mother and my sister cam of age way before Roe versus Wade, the landmark law that guaranteed all women safe access to abortion and complete dominion over her body and well being. Those were dark days and I don't need to mention what happens when a women has to go underground to procure a dangerous illegal abortion or desperately do it herself because most of us know. I lost my virginity 4 years after the victory of Roe and I've never forgotten the fight that shaped it. I was grateful to Roe for being in place when I found myself pregnant at 18 because I had access to a safe abortion in a place that was not humiliating. I have been grateful to organizations like Planned Parenthood where I could send young friends for the birth control and the sexual information that they needed so that they could make safe and informed choices about THEIR bodies.

The last time that I went to Washington with my mother to march for women's rights she looked at me and said " Mark my words you'll be back here darling, this fight isn't over yet." I'm sad to know that she was right because as I type this, there is legislation to defund Planned Parenthood and to destroy a women's right to choose. In Ohio where I live there is a repugnant piece of legislation being considered called "The Heartbeat Bill" which would completely ban abortion as soon as a fetal heartbeat was detected. At last notice, 40 out of 99 of the house legislators have signed on to the bill. The simplest way to explain this? If this became law by the time a woman actually knew that she was pregnant an abortion could be illegal. Make no mistake. Barefoot , pregnant and back in the dark ages is where we could find ourselves. This is only one of many heinous pieces of legislation being proposed by the Republican Party which has been hijacked by the evangelical Christian Right and if we ignore it, laugh at it and pretend that somehow it won't be taken seriously we will have left ourselves , our daughters and granddaughters at the mercy of a democracy that simply thinks that we should believe as it does , making no allowance for our Constitutionally guaranteed religious freedoms. The language of these laws is completely demoralizing for women. We have to bear a child if we're raped? We have to bear a child even if we could die? We can't determine for ourselves what is forcible and violent?

I will not stand by idly and allow 4 and half decades of women's rights to be destroyed. I am rededicating this blog to the women that I know everywhere who are ready to stand up and say "ENOUGH" to these verbal acts of violence towards ourselves, our children, our sons and husbands and our planet.

Because I can't help myself you will still find some occasional thoughts about perfume and fashion and really good food, but now you're going to also find the latest news on this fight for choice and the links to help you do something about it. You will also find articles about sexual self awareness, safe sex and women's health. You'll find articles about the latest assaults on our rights to care for our bodies with the supplements that we need instead of the drugs that Big Pharma wants us to think that we need. You'll read about safe food and water and why I think that protecting our food sources all ties together with the fight for women's rights.

I invite you...well if I'm really being honest I'm begging you to come fight this fight with me and all of the others who are actively involved. We can't do it alone. But if each woman who remembers the days before ,during and shortly after Roe adopts one younger woman and talks to them about why these rights are so important , then we've got a chance to make a difference.

Thank you,

Beth Schreibman Gehring

Skinny Sexy Food: Avocado, Fennel and Cucumber Salad

2010-02-17T14:44:00.000-08:00

I love avocados and in California where I spend a lot of time they are plentiful and delicious and I'm practically addicted to them. Thankfully, they've got plenty of creamy, sexy and delicious fat that's really good for you and they are completely versatile. The ancient Aztecs called the Avocado "ahuacatl" or "The testicle tree" . The avocado is indeed reputed to be great for boosting both the male and female libido, probably because of the enormous amounts of folic acid, B6 and potassium that they contain and the thyroid balancing and hormone enhancing effect that they have on both sexes. If that wasn't enough you've really got to love a fruit that you can put into a blender with some natural sweetener, a dash or two of smoky chipotle and several cups of really great chopped chocolate that turns into a sensuous and decadent dessert! Go ahead and eat them even if you think that you shouldn't. I promise that as part of a heart healthy low fat diet you can't go wrong enjoying them every now and then!

Then there is guacamole. I'm a bit of a purist when it comes to my guacamole and I love to make it fresh whenever I can. I think that one of the things that intimidates people about avocados is trying to figure out how to slice them.

Here's a simple trick:

Just take a sharp knife and carefully pierce the skin at the top and run the knife horizontally around the seed of the avocado from top to bottom. Then twist gently and the avocado will open exposing one half with the seed. Don't discard the seed if you plan to have a guacamole left. Putting the pit in the bowl with the leftovers does keep them from turning brown. I have absolutely no idea why....I just know that it works. Then take your knife and gently score the flesh from side to side and then reverse the fruit and do it the other way. You'll have avocado diamonds at that point! Take a spoon and separate the flesh from the skin. It should all just fall out at that point!

So last night I thought that I was making guacomole but what I was really wanting a refreshing salad, without a lot of lettuce. I had several ripe Haas (my favorites- less water and much richer flesh) avocados so I quickly sliced them into a bowl and added a diced baby cucumber, a cup of red onion, a cup of diced tomato (patted completely dry) and a cup of diced fennel. Then I added at least a cup of torn fresh cilantro and a 1/2 a cup of fresh dill. A dash of salt, a teaspoon of garlic powder, a 1/2 teaspoon of ground cumin and the juice of one orange later I was ready. Take two forks and mash it all gently or if you're not squeamish about playing with your food just toss it with your hands. It should be very chunky yet creamy when you're done.

You can play with this...substitute lime juice for the orange juice or use them both. I've put diced pineapple in this salad instead of fennel or used cubed ripe papaya. Play with chili's if you like more heat. It's completely up to you!

The healthiest way to serve this is with veggies on the side but a few whole wheat baked pita chips (not added salt) won't hurt! Served with a side of fresh salsa.....Bliss!

Here's another easy way to cut avocados if you want slices not cubes!

This chart is courtesy of : http://www.avocado.org/healthy-living/nutrition

Spread and Dip Nutritional Comparison
	Fresh Avocado	Butter, salted	Sour Cream, Cultured	Cheddar Cheese	Mayonnaise, with salt
Portion (1 ounce)	2 Tbsp. or 2-3 Thin Slices	2 Tbsp.	2 Tbsp.	1 Slice	2 Tbsp.
Calories	50	204	60	114	109
Total Fat (g)	4.5	23	6	9.4	9.4
Sat Fat (g)	0.5	14.6	3.7	6	1.4
Cholesterol (mg)	0	61	13	30	7
Sodium (mg)	0	164	15	176	199

Self Awareness is Powerful not just for Women but the Men who love us!

2010-02-04T08:10:00.000-08:00

I came across this bra yesterday during my quest to find the ultimate sports bra that would support "the girls" during a particularly strenuous session of hot yoga. Being a totally addicted leopard print fan I made it mine on the spot! It's called "the Awareness Bra " and it's made by Wacoal. It's very beautiful, comfortable and comes with a simple yet important message.

The message presented is a simple one to be aware , do monthly breast self exams and look in the mirror for visible changes. It's surprising to me how many women that I know who aren't comfortable touching their bodies and their breasts. If you fall in to that category I beg you to write me. I'm really serious here and I'll gladly help you through the fear because it's your life and the richness of it that's at stake! Get your husband, partner or boyfriend involved and tell them what to look and feel for. It doesn't have to be clinical at all, it's about falling in love with yourself and the world around you.

Sometime right after your period grab your sweetie and lead him or her into the bedroom after a warm bath. Light some candles, grab a wonderfully scented body butter, get naked and touch each other.

Period, end of story. Don't be afraid. Knowledge is power!

Allowing your SO to help be responsible for your breast health is one of the most erotically charged and wonderful gifts that you can bring to your relationship. Don't be afraid if you're just really nervous the first few times because in this case practice DOES make perfect! You'll get the hang of it , I promise. Then buy yourself a beautiful bra or two as a reward! Luscious breasts (and Luscious comes in every size!) deserve gorgeous bras!

Don't forget that men can get breast cancer too. It's important for you to return the favor and check your lover every month!

You can download a very good breast self exam card from Keep-a-Breast.org and get a lot of really important information.

I love this group because they're young, powerful and really making a difference. They don't think that breast health is just for us "over 30's" and these young men and women are taking control of their destinies now. It's interesting to me. I've noticed that most of my son's friends are incredibly cool, intelligent hip kids who think about their environment a lot more than I did at their age. Lots of them are really healthy vegans, most of them are very aware environmentalists. They've got a lot to say about this world that we've left them and they're not afraid to be controversial. I've attached 2 wonderfully entertaining videos from the 2009 Vans Warped Tour! Enjoy!

Photograph courtesy of Macy's

Skinny Sexy Food

2010-01-31T12:46:00.000-08:00

Skinny

A state of mind having nothing to do with size but everything to do with health!

Sexy

A juicily passionate and sensuously rich state of being that leaves you completely alive and ready for anything!

Food

Sustenance for your body, nurturing for your soul and a wonderful way to connect deeply with your family and friends!

Well, here it is, the ripe old age of 50! So far,it feels better than all of of my other years put together, somethings changed and I'm liking it! I'm feeling more comfortable in my skin than I ever have and somehow even the inevitable wrinkles and bumps and spots don't seem quite as bad as I thought that they would. That being said, I've also decided that this is the year for a creative lifestyle change, one that will propel me into the next 50 with alot of energy. Years of competitive horseback riding have taken their toll on my joints and I'm bound and determined to learn to surf again and I'm definitely going to wear a really sexy bathing suit again....because I want to.

My adorable husband Jim and I have embarked on a quest to grow very old , gray and wise together. God love the man, he loves me just the way that I am , 25 extra pounds and all. Truth be told, neither of us are worried about the extra weight so much, but we'd love to feel spectacular at 50 and way beyond what we did at 20. Shooting hoops in California last week with our 22 year old son brought the truth home....we've both been taking our good health for granted. Our son yelled at us about our lack of commitment to ourselves and our not yet even a "twinkle in the eye" grandchildren. I understand how he feels...he watched his grandmother die last year of a stroke caused by her heart issues, diabetes and all of the complications that go along with that. I took that as a huge sign of love from my kid and decided to listen. So Jim and I have decided to embark on this creative journey together and we've enlisted the toughest coach we could find.

Cassie is our son's adorably tiny yet totally curvy, vegan , yoga instructress girlfriend who's getting her masters in nutrition. She's pretty tough with with us, but she's helping us to design a lifestyle around food and health that we love. We don't have to give up meat, although that's a choice that's easy for me to make. I have to drink a ton of water (ugh) but even that's getting easier. Cass knows me well enough to understand that the food has to be incredible and the exercise sensual, otherwise we'll never stick with the program. I've done the vegetarian thing on and off for awhile but without much success in terms of my weight loss and my congestion. Eliminating animal flesh and fat plus dairy and eggs from my diet is finally doing the trick! My belly fat is leaving me yet my curves are not abandoning ship! The best news...I'm not hungry!

In return for her undying devotion and doggedness, I'm teaching Cass how to cook and create delicious vegetarian/Vegan food that is satisfying and gorgeous with minimal fat. She's cracking the whip and holding me accountable to myself and my unborn grandkids:)

The two of us are creating a tasty project around the whole thing that I'm calling "Skinny Sexy Food!" which is my quest to bring to you some damn good recipes and ideas for creating a lifestyle change that's really healthy as well as seductively wonderful.

I use the term "seductively" because I want to entice you into trying something new, no matter what that looks like for you. For example, I truly never felt that I would love Yoga. I wasn't sure that I could be still enough, let alone not worry about looking like a fool or completely fat in my clothes when I did the poses. What I've discovered is that Yoga challenges and relaxes me on all levels (body , mind and spirit) in the same way that riding my horse does and that a treadmill never has. As cliche as it sounds ,when I'm in the middle of a Hot Yoga class sweating myself silly I fall quickly into my "zone". The first few times I did the class in baggy sport pants and a t shirt. After a couple of classes I ventured out and bought myself some really cute yoga clothes in my size. They're tight yet fluid and very body conscious, but I love them because I can really notice my body in them and that feels very good! I'm not on a quest to be "skinny", I'm on a mission to be healthy and fit for the rest of my life. If I can be a toned and healthy size 10/12 for the rest of my life that will be fine with me!

Food and our relationship with it is a very tricky thing. We adore it and there's no getting around that. There's nothing that I love more than cooking for my family and friends. I love eating almost as much as I love sex and I've always had large appetites for life and that spills right over into my eating habits. So I figure that if I can keep my appetites and use that emotional passion to create fabulous food that's going to keep me happy and healthy that I owe it to myself and my future grandkids to do so!

I'm not saying that this is easy......actually transforming these years of built in eating habits is pretty tough for a foodie like me. I allow myself to enjoy one day a week where I can eat reasonable portions of what I like so I don't feel too deprived. Trust me though, there are days when I want to chuck the whole thing into the nearest saute' pan full of filet. But the benefits are seeming to far outweigh the upsets. Eliminating cheese from my diet has my joints feeling fluid and my sinuses clear. My sleep apnea is GONE! Pain and Inflammation...fading fast! My husband is experiencing the same things as well as incredibly renewed energy without Starbucks and all of the added sugar that he relies on to stay awake! We've eliminated most processed sugar products and are experimenting with wonderful substitutes like Maple and Agave, however I've recently been given some research that suggests that refined Agave Nectar may not be as safe as once thought. I'm sad about that, but really committed to finding safe and delicious alternatives for the foods that I love. Thankfully, I've fallen back in love with white raw honey which I've discovered is a incredible substitute for marshmallow cream during a weak moment! The world of fabulous food is a far sexier place than Kraft and co. would have us believing and I'm going to enjoy all of it!

Please feel free to write and share recipes and thoughts! This journey wouldn't be nearly as much fun without some good companions and yes, that is a glorious pink FROSTING in the picture! I said MOST processed sugar products, but an occasional fingerful of homemade frosting? Who could possibly resist?

Chocolate Body Paint

2010-01-13T19:28:00.000-08:00

This is a reprint from another of my blogs....but I think that everyone should be reminded to make it at least once every other month. It's that delicious and best enjoyed with someone special......

Hah! I knew the title would get your attention! However, I must say that this is a thoroughly good use for this recipe which is really more of a vegan ganache. But because the primary ingredients are coconut oil, cocoa powder and carob, it melts down to the loveliest consistency and would be wonderful drawn all over your sweetie! Come on, don't be shy! All of the ingredients are very nourishing for your skin and the taste is divine!

I created this recipe one evening about a month ago in San Diego when an old friend of mine from high school and his wife were coming over for dinner. My sons girlfriend and I had been at Whole Foods that afternoon and decided to create a wonderful vegan meal starting with watermelon and jalapeno soup and ending with rolls of rice paper that we stuffed with plum and basil and strawberries, banana and mint. Of course they wouldn't have been complete without a sauce but we couldn't use the traditional butter and heavy cream to make one. What I did use was carob, coconut oil, cocoa powder, coconut milk and some agave nectar all blended in my VitaMix. The result was a delightful accident, a byproduct of experimentation plus a certain amount of crazy creativity. It was absolutely delicious and a perfect foil for the luscious fruit wraps that we had prepared.

I have since taken this recipe and modified it a bit adding toasted hazelnuts to make a vegan nutella and at Cassie's suggestion , silken tofu to make a filling for a tart that we poured into a raw nut crust. It is really a wonderful base for so many things. For the record, if you don't already own a VitaMix, this recipe is a very good excuse to buy one and it will pay for itself time and time again. The VitaMix is a very high powered blender and it can take cubes of ice and whole fruits , skin seeds and all and pulverize them into the most amazing smoothies in no time flat! I have created soups in mine that were wonderful and in about 1/4 of the time that I would normally spend. Fresh nut butters and homemade nut milks are easy to make and only take about 5 minutes of preparation! I knew that I could probably make this ganache in my regular blender , but I would have had to waste too much time pulverizing the ingredients first. It can be done and the results should be excellent, but the VitaMix is so strong that it melted everything for me in no time flat, creating a sauce that was as velvety as any ganache that I've enjoyed and without any of the dairy to mask the pure flavors!

To make about 2 cups of delectable "Body Paint" you will need:

I bag of sweetened organic carob chips

3 tablespoons of good cocoa powder- I love the Green and Black brand

A liberal dash of cinnamon

1 cup of coconut oil - The Whole Foods 365 brand is very good

Agave nectar to taste

Coconut milk to thin as needed -about 1/2 cup

The formula is simple! Just put all of the ingredients into your blender or VitaMix and move it through the settings until you are rewarded with a melting and creamy sauce! If I were doing this in the blender I would probably warm the ingredients first over a double boiler and then put them into the pitcher. You really do need the emulsifying effect of the blender though because as the mixture whips it will thicken a bit like mayonnaise. Add the agave to taste and coconut milk to create a smoother consistency and then pour into a sauce boat to serve! Because of the coconut oil and carob chips the sauce with begin to solidify but it will still be silky and wonderful. At room temperature it's definitely a sauce but once you put it into the refrigerator it will solidify a bit and turn into a creamy ganache. Either way it's wonderful! I hope that you'll enjoy experimenting with this recipe, I haven't tried it yet but I'm pretty sure that a bit of espresso powder would be a lively addition! Heat it up a bit and you have a fondue to be served with bananas and pound cake! How about marshmallows! The possibilities are endless, but I think that I like it best served up with a silken sable paint brush!

I do hope that you will light some candles, make some of this delectable finger paint and spend some quality time with the one that you love......

image from www.festivacancun.com

2010-01-12T09:03:00.000-08:00

This is Crystal Renn! For those of you who've never met her, she'a plus sized model who for years starved herself skinny to become the size 0 in her quest to become the next great supermodel. She became anorexic to the point where she was existing on sticks of gum everyday supplemented by lettuce and diet coke.

Fortunately for her and all of us, Crystal's body had other plans.

She realized one day during a particularly traumatic casting call that she could no longer maintain the horrible cycle she was in without dying. So she gave in an ate and allowed herself to break the cycle of denial that she'd been in for so long. She's now the highest paid plus sized model in the world and she'd only 23! She loves being a model, the whole playing with makeup thing and the gorgeous clothes that come with the deal. The difference is that now she's doing it her way and I think that she looks fabulous! The before skinny pictures of her are scary and should be a wakeup call for any of us fighting to make sense of our bodies. The photo shown her is the cover of her book. I bought it and have devoured it. Having been a fairly voluptuous woman for my entire adult life and having fought against my own body for decades, her story is incredibly validating for me.

I'd never been aware of her at all until my husband pointed out an article that he'd been shown at work. It seems that V Magazine (the totally glam fashion magazine that I think personally bests W on a regular basis) is putting out a "Size" issue to show that plus size women are utterly gorgeous and to address the problems of eating disorders that are affecting so many today , both young and old. Heres the link: http://www.vmagazine.com/

The first thing you'll be greeted by is a pop-up window featuring another plus sized model named Tara Lynn......You'll immediately notice that she's completely naked and totally gorgeous and when my husband showed her to me I was blown away. Here's a very fulled figured woman, not much smaller than me , but with all of her voluptuous curves on display for the world to see. His response to her beauty told me more about how he'd seem me in all of our years of marriage then words ever could. I'd always been ashamed of my very curvy body and here was the guy that I loved telling me that he found it really sensual and beautiful and that he wanted me to feel as confident as she did.

It's started me on a quest that I will be sharing with all of you here. Perfumerotica was supposed to be about to be sex , food, fashion, passion and perfume and it still is, but I've decided to add a topic. I'm a very confident woman, but I've spent my life worrying about every bite that I've taken and the constant stress of trying to diet and not diet definitely hampers this particular foodie.

I'm now spending my time enjoying my food in a way that I haven't. I'm giving myself permission to eat as if I were starving, because even though I'm not even remotely thin, emotionally the effect has been the same on me as if I've been denying myself forever. As a result I'm eating less. It's very strange but not unexpected. I already eat very well but I'm going to tone up what I have and no longer worry about every squeezing this size14 body into a 10.

I'm going to let my body decide once and for all what it wants to look like and then I'm going to give it the gift of full exposure. No more hiding my arms, no more looking for clothes to disguise my fuller curves. I'm aware that my struggle with body acceptance is not unique at all which is why I'm going to bring it here into the forefront instead of the acceptable (to me) head only profile pics that I've got posted all over the blogosphere. You'll still see wonderful fragrance reviews here on Perfumerotica and stories and recipes. What you'll see even more of though are my appetites and I'm warning you now, like my curvy body they are huge! Whether you're large or small, thin or zaftig we all deserve a chance to create the voice that is as expressive, big and bold as we are. This is my no holds barred attempt to create a place for us all to enjoy ourselves and get better acquainted with all of our appetites! If it provokes you good...if it inspires you even better. We are all hungry for authenticity and what better place to start than with our bodies. Passion doesn't have a size and neither does beauty. You'll definitely see more delicious recipes and you'll probably see a vibrator or two. What you might see from time to time are articles about the safest cosmetics to use and probably because I'm about 90% veggie at this point an article or two about our relationship to animal testing and the makeup products that we use. That being said there's room for us all here and that's the way that I like it. I hope that you enjoy reading this as much as I'm going to enjoy creating it for us all.

Introducing Perfume Illuminated

2010-01-12T08:30:00.000-08:00

Introducing "Perfume Illuminated" by Beth Schreibman Gehring & Roxana Villa

I am honored to introduce a collaboration that I am truly very excited about! Many of you have read the articles that I've written about Roxana Villa, of Roxana Illuminated Perfume who is in my mind the undisputed queen of the art of Botanical Fragrance! Her perfumes are lovely on all levels , good for the earth and fruitful for all things mind, body and spirit.

After watching the movie Quantum Activist with her family on New Years Eve, she was hit with the question, "What are you doing to participate in the creation of the reality that we all share?" Well, the answer is going to be alot of things given that she has more creative energy than almost anyone that I've ever known , but luckily for me, this new project that she's invited me to be a part of is one of them!

Perfume Illuminated is our effort together to bring you fragrance and flavor from a new perspective; at the same time earthy and ethereal, practical as well as spiritual. Every Friday we will be addressing a different scent and because she is a botanical perfumer her scents easily translate into my language which is the language of food as well as perfume.

http://journal.illuminatedperfume.com/

Roxana's no stranger to lovely things to eat though...upon our first meeting I was offered homemade Macorons and a glass of fresh spring water which had been exquisitely laced with Jasmine. I was instantly tranfixed and became her willing participant in almost any project that she throws at me. In this first edition of Perfume Illuminated you will discover recipes for tincture of Orris and Violets, Violet ice cream as well as a few stories and other such things to help thaw your toes on this chilly midwestern morning!

Both of us truly hope that it will inspire you and bring you abundant enjoyment!

Impressions of Peace

2009-09-20T23:50:00.000-07:00

“We all live together
We belong together
This Mother Earth and I

All this song will always be
Better by reason
God's clear light
Make sure you feel this life
Flow all inside of you now

All this song will always be
Better by children
Let them sing
For always be the Light

It's another day
It's another way
It's another feeling in my heart

So if ever there's a question
So in part there is an answer
Remember that it's always in the heart of you

To begin this conversation
So intent to get the level
In everything your sacred life is going through”

Lyrics by Jon Anderson - Earth Mother Earth

I love the autumn months and for me there is no more beautiful time to be alive in northeast Ohio. I spend my days picking apples, walking in beautiful places, smelling the windfall apples and the fresh grapes that are everywhere this time of the year. I ride a most beautiful horse and we take to the trails on wings jumping the logs in our path, greedily eating the last of the precious berries that are clinging to the vines. The trees are resplendent with their cloaks of plum, rose and gold while acorns bounce playfully from the great oaks that have been my companions for my entire entire life. Fresh pumpkins are everywhere and the harvest is full, rich and abundant. This I take for granted as if it will always be here and yet this year I am brutally aware that time is passing quickly, that every moment is precious.

This is the beginning of my 50th year. For the first time in my life I haven’t known where the path is. I am no longer a child and I don’t remember when that happened. My body is changing, my son is grown, my own mother is recently gone. My world is changing and I feel it in my bones in a such a way that it that I am completely unsettled and yet my life is good, very very good. However there is a lingering question in my heart as to what’s next and sometimes I have felt very very afraid. I have been much quieter than usual, trying to still the cacophony of thoughts banging against the walls of my brain.

Yesterday, I received a package from Roxana Villa of Roxana Illuminated Perfumes. I knew that it would contain a sample of her newest perfume to be released on September the 21st in honor of The United Nations International Day of Peace. I was thrilled to receive it but only later did I really find out why.

I opened the bottle and took a very deep sniff. It was beautiful and very sweet with a tinge of something toasty and satisfying like the fragrance of rich earth , freshly mown hay and tobacco drying in the sun. There was an element of fire woven through it , yet I also sensed notes that were cooling and luscious, full of the dancing energies that only a true botanical perfume can possess. I put some on and drove out to the barn as it was turning towards dusk and I just had the sense of something big, but I didn’t know what. Maybe it's silly, but I do believe in magic, truly I do.

I saddled my horse and as we headed into the woods I felt a shiver run down my spine amazed as I looked up to see a very large bird flying low and fast through the trees. I was intrigued, we kept moving forward as he flew in front of us and yet I couldn’t truly see him. There is only one bird that flies through the forest without a sound and I longed to see him. We continued cantering down the trail but then I stopped and looked directly up and to the right of me. There high in the tree sat a barred owl, eyes unblinking and round with a chest full of the most beautiful feathers that I have ever seen.... a being of absolute and profound power. Suddenly I began to cry and I told him silently of everything , I shared my pain utterly and completely. We stared at each other for quite some time and then something told me that it was time to move on, but as I trotted away I heard the gift in his call...”Remember... Remember ... Remember”.

Suddenly I was filled with laughter recalling the wonder of my life and all of it’s sweetness. Suddenly the pain became part of it all and something to be cherished, just another simple part of the continuing circle of my life. Life is meant to be lived in every moment and by always letting those that you love know exactly how you feel about them.

We speak of peace on earth, we speak of peace between men. I believe that the word means something different and precious to everyone of us and I wonder, how can there be peace between us all if we have not found it in ourselves , if we’re not willing to go into our own dark places to fight long and hard for it? How can we cherish the lives of others if we don’t do the same for our own lives ? How can we possibly save our planet if we're too afraid to save ourselves? I want to believe with my whole being that peace truly does begin deep from within and then spirals outward touching everyone that you meet. I truly believe that we can be our own miracles.

All of Roxana’s perfumes are beautiful, but this precious expression of peace is particularly powerful and utterly lovely. I do not know the individual notes of this perfume and my heart prefers it this way. She has given it no name, focusing instead on the universal symbol of peace, preferring for each of us to be personally inspired without the preconception that a name could bring.

There is something in the alchemy of this perfume that is a shamanic template for personal power, a prayer for the fullest flowering of human expression and a wish for peace between us all. It is my fondest hope that you will feel moved to experience it's magic for yourself.

Roxana will be giving a portion of the proceeds from each of the 7 gram liquid perfume flacons and solid compacts to the POE (Project Peace on Earth) organization to facilitate their vision of a global prayer concert for Peace.Please be sure to visit Roxana's Journal for a chance to win a sample of the glorious new liquid perfume or one of the adorable mini solids in the new fragrance.

For more information:
Roxana Illuminated Perfume
http://www.illuminatedperfume.etsy.com
http://journal.illuminatedperfume.com

Project Peace on Earth
http://www.project-peaceonearth.org

http://www.internationaldayofpeace.org

Please enjoy the beautiful words of others who are writing today to honor this lovely expression of peace:

Bitter Grace Notes: http://bittergracenotes.blogspot.com
Cleveland Fragrance Examiner: http://www.examiner.com/x-5804-Cleveland-Fragrance-Examiner
Portland Fragrance Examiner: http://www.examiner.com/x-4780-Portland-Fragrance-Examiner
Roxana Illuminated Perfume: http://journal.illuminatedperfume.com
Indie Perfume: http://indieperfumes.blogspot.com
Memory and Desire: http://memoryanddesire.typepad.com
Perfume Shrine: http://www.perfumeshrine.com
Perfume Smellin' Things: http://perfumesmellinthings.blogspot.com
Scent hive: http://scenthive.wordpress.com
The Non-Blonde: http://thenonblonde.blogspot.com

Perfume Image courtesy of Roxana Villa

"Peace Has Begun" by Greg Spalenka

Bee Here Now- Diving deep into the hive

2009-09-07T19:40:00.000-07:00

"I dedicate these erotic meanderings to playful lovers and, why not?

also to frightened men and melancholy women"

Isabel Allende

Warning to all , but no surprise to most who know me well. I am not shy. What I've written here is very intimate, so if you're not ready, turn back now. After that, I'm not responsible......

I love honey......I love to eat it, bathe in it and make love with it. There is almost nothing as satisfying to me as the smell of raw honey, not even chocolate, which I adore but only in small quantities these days. I love to break a fresh honeycomb apart with with my fingers and lick the sweetness that drips from it and the beeswax and the pollen that clings to it are ambrosia for my tastebuds. Honey perfumes are to me among the most coveted of fragrances because of their ability to send my imagination wandering into thoroughly exquisite places.

Honey has some very practical qualities too, such as it's ability to become an proven antibacterial when mixed with fresh garlic. The next time that you get a cut try a salve of crushed garlic and raw honey . You will be amazed at the swiftness with which it can heal and you can feel good knowing that you've treated yourself and your skin very well! In fact Lush, that fabulously fun company based in the UK that makes the most wonderful vegan products recently had a call from several nurse's in England to make a soap that could naturally kill the MRSA virus. the result was "13- Unlucky for dirt!" and you can find it on their website. Created from essential oils of oregano, rose and filled with honey, it has been used successfully to fight the spread of this dangerous virus much more successfully then the antibiotics that contributed to creating it.

But all of this practicality is beginning to bore me!

Like Cleopatra and so many of the other wild women before me , I love to warm a potion of fresh honey , heavy cream, organic rose petals and drops of ylang ylang oil for my bath. Raw honey mixed with brown sugar, rose absolute and a bit of olive oil makes a wonderful scrub for the skin, imparting a softness and a beautiful fragrance guaranteed to arouse. Honey in a squeeze bottle gently warmed and mixed with a bit of organic vanilla extract and a touch of rose water quite simply becomes dessert for two drizzled in all of the right places. If you're really earthy, mix in a bit of truffle oil in place of the vanilla and rose water. It is a truly ambrosial combination that's sweetly animalistic, dripping with sensuality and infinitely lickable!

For totally unabashed sweetness , apples dipped in honey are an ancient recipe that you can have fun feeding to one another and sliced juicy melons drizzled with honey are the ultimate sticky and slippery play toy. To quench my thirst I love to make a simple homemade wine by decanting a bottle of riesling and infusing it with sliced meyer lemons, fresh rosemary and a tablespoon or two of a finely spiced honey. Served well chilled on a summers eve it's a delicious accompaniment to the effervescent fireflies and the moonlight. Served with a platter of handpicked grapes, a softly yielding pear , ripe figs and a wedge of Manchego cheese that has a bit of fresh honey comb broken over the top , it's a very rich feast indeed. Fed to each other by firelight it's practically Bacchanalian and I dare you to try to stay untangled........

There are many exquisite honey fragrances but the solid perfumes created by botanical perfumer Roxana Villa are like dripping butter, so rich are they with beeswax and other sensuous oils. When you open one of them and run your fingers over the surface, the beeswax instantly melts into your fingertips, sliding down your skin like a precious unguent. I am begging her to make me a body butter that I can use after a warm evening bath or during a massage scented with honey and other wonderful things. I cannot even imagine how good it would feel to be caressed everywhere by such an exquisite potion. If she is good enough to make me one I will let you know and maybe, just maybe I'll share......

One of my other pleasures is a delicious product made by Kama Sutra called "Honey Dust". Kama Sutra for those of you who haven't made its acquaintance is a wonderful product line that's been around for quite some time now. Kama Sutra uses excellent ingredients and they do not animal test. They are devoted to making the art of lovemaking delicious! They have created delicious warming gels and yummy body souffles, but the Honey Dust made with real powdered honey is just incredible. It comes in 4 flavors, but being a bit of a purist I love the traditional Sweet Honeysuckle flavor the most! Honey Dust is a simple and easy to use product. Entice your lover into bed and open the container. Take the feather brush provided, dip it into the tin and lightly stroke it over any and every place that you want to kiss and be kissed. No further instructions required! You can make your own "Honey Dust" as powdered honey is readily available but I think that you should splurge and buy the real thing. The containers are beautiful and totally enticing and just feel like a very special occasion. They make a little "Weekender Kit" that's filled with delicious things to play with. Go to their site, blush a bit and then order something for the two of you. Trust me, you'll be very glad that you did!

Why you may wonder, all of this rhapsodizing tonight about honey? It's because my adored honeybees are in grave danger from Colony Collapse Disorder. It is a sad sad state of affairs for them and a dismal omen for our very survival on this gorgeous planet that we call home. It's a very simple truth, no bees.... no food, no flowers, no bees, no food. We cannot live without the pollinators because we've yet to figure out how to pollinate without them on such a scale that would feed us all. The stunning stark truth of what this means is that every time a hive dies from CCD, we lose a bit more of the fight to sustain ourselves on this planet and we tread much closer to famine on a global level. The realities of this are truly frightening.

Many of us in the perfume community are very concerned about Colony Collapse Disorder, so much so that quite a few of us have devoted our columns today to our beloved honeybees and the joys that they bring into our lives. Please take the time to go to their "Hives" and read the delightful prose of my fellow bloggers. It's our first "Bee Here Now" event and I know that you will love their Bee-utiful words. Take the time to learn about Colony Collapse Disorder and what it means. It's not to late, but we need to act now.

www.perfumeshrine.com

scenthive.wordpress.com

thenonblonde.blogspot.com

www.examiner.com/x-5804-

www.examiner.com/x-4780-

journal.illuminatedperfume.com

For Kama Sutra Products- http://www.kamasutra.com/

For 13- Unlucky for Dirt soap - http://www.lushusa.com/shop

To learn more about Colony Collapse Disorder- http://www.nrdc.org/wildlife/animals/bees.asp

The Elegant and Mysterious Botanical World of Roxana Illuminated Perfumes

2009-08-08T05:36:00.000-07:00

I first became acquainted with Roxana Villa last year when I fell madly in love with her gorgeous Illuminated Journal, incredibly beautiful botanical perfumes and her delightfully elfin soul. What I didn't realize then was that behind the laughter that floats through the air like the tinkling of the loveliest bell, beat the leonine heart of a fierce environmental artist and activist who was willing to devote her very life and craft to protecting the plants who provide her with such gorgeous tinctures and aromatics. Indeed Roxana's perfumes are of such an extraordinary quality that you know with one heavenly sniff that the lady is indeed an alchemist of the rarest sort.


The perfumes that Roxana Villa creates are unusual in the world of fine fragrances because they are completely plant based and without created without the use of any synthetic substances whatsoever. Although the term "Natural Perfumer' is becoming much more common in the marketplace today, a perfume created by Roxana Villa is completely set apart from that pack because she is a Botanical perfumer, in other words, she uses absolutely no synthetics or animal products whatsoever with the exception of beeswax and some lovingly handcrafted tinctures from the sea. She creates beautiful liquid and solid fragrances that have the longevity of any of the finest perfumes found in the mainstream marketplace but nothing is ever harmed to create them. The difference between a botanical perfumer and a natural perfumer lies within the ingredients that are used. A natural perfumer will often use an animal ingredients such as civet or a musk (which can still be found in other countries) to create their perfumes. Although those ingredients are interesting from an historical point of view, this presents a quandary for anyone wanting to wear a fragrance that is cruelty free. A botanical perfumer will not use these products and from my experience a beautifully crafted botanical perfume is absolutely as long lasting and gorgeous as anything traditionally available. To wear a perfume created by Roxana Villa is to wear a fragrance that you can feel wonderful about on so many levels, because she has put her money where her mouth is, donating her time and a portion of her profits to protecting so many of the strange and wonderful plant species that she loves. Currently, she gives some of the profit from her wonderful perfume "Q" to the California Oaks Foundation www.californiaoaks.org/   which is dedicated to teaching about, protecting and preserving the beautiful California Coastal Oaks that she loves. "Q" , has many wonderful ingredients, but the essence of its magic can truly be found in the tincture of oak leaves that Roxana lovingly gathers and makes herself.

Roxana's perfumes are of the highest quality and a gift for anyone who has been disappointed by the lack of a natural alternative to the mass marketed perfumes available in any Sephora or Ulta near you. Most people buy a perfume without ever realizing the enormous amount of synthetic ingredients that go into the production of a mass marketed fragrance and then wonder why they are suddenly afflicted with environmental sensitivities or allergies. Many don't realize this, but the skin is the largest organ on our bodies and absorbs with lightening speed anything that you rub into it. Consequently, it's every bit as important to pay attention to the ingredients that you use for the care of your body as with the food that you eat. Also, from a sensual point of view, it's really interesting to observe how you emotionally react to a fragrance. Our senses don't identify synthetic aromas in the same way that we do a fine botanical. A fine botanical fragrance possesses an aromatherapeutic potential that is obvious the moment that you put it on. As soon as I started wearing Roxana's perfumes I realized that I love to wear them because they possess the authentic and luxurious quality of a historical fragrance created long ago, yet are thoroughly modern in their current interpretations. Her solid perfumes are like a precious unguent are instantly absorbed into the skin, leaving only their fragrance and a smooth silky touch.

Not only are Roxana's fragrances beautiful to wear, but when a parcel from her arrives, it is immediately apparent that as much thought and care went into the packaging as into the perfume itself. I have even been known to wait for a day or two to open a package from her until I am in just the right state of mind! Everything that she touches is precious from her boxes to the labels and the sealing wax that she uses to close the beautiful envelopes that she provides along with her product information. Her bottles are beautiful, Baccarat style flacons that are chosen specifically to present the inherent color and beauty that each fragrance possesses. Roxana's luscious solid perfumes ( the large size ) come enrobed in a beautiful pouch that has been created by her mother, who at one time was the artist responsible for the creation of actress Ali Mcgraw's crocheted caps! Each perfume is clothed in a different color pouch chosen especially for the fragrance. With Roxana Villa, everything that she does is bathed in her extraordinary creativity.   I've tried many of her perfumes and they are all gorgeous. Go to her website and see for yourself. One of her lovely perfumes will become your signature and you will have left the earth a healthier and greener place as a result of your choice. Roxana was an artist before she became a perfumer so with anything that she touches, life becomes art and scent becomes passion. Her world is a beautiful one filled with lots of magic and full throttle self expression and to play in it for even a moment will captivate you and thoroughly your experience of fine fragrance forever.

For more info:
http://www.illuminatedperfume.com/
http://perfumesmellinthings.blogspot.com/2009/05/roxana-illuminated-perfume-q.html

Gorgeous Fragrance Ads - YSL's Opium

2009-07-28T09:30:00.000-07:00

Two of my favorite advertisements for one of my favorite fragrances, YSL's Opium. Although often too zealously oversprayed, Opium's luscious spicy fragrance still remains one of my very favorites when used gently and in the right company. Enjoy my review of this very wild and wonderful perfume at http://perfumesmellinthings.blogspot.com/2008/01/perfume-review-yves-saint-laurent-opium.html

"George Washington went shopping here"- The Fine Fragrances and Grooming Products of Caswell Massey!

2009-06-30T23:34:00.000-07:00

Caswell Massey, one of America's oldest chemists and perfumers opened for business in 1752 under the name of Dr.Hunters Dispensary in Newport , Rhode Island. At the same time, Benjamin Franklin is believed to have brought the first bathtub to America, although there is some dispute as to the validity of this claim. Wherever the truth lies , it's very clear in the history of Dr. Hunter's Dispensary that this was the time in Revolutionary history that the demand for fines soaps began to escalate. Later , in 1780 , George Washington is reputed to have given a supply of Dr. Hunter's remarkable cologne, simply named Number 6 , as a gift to the Marquis de Lafayette, for his help with the Revolutionary Army.It is said that from that moment on, the Marquis was never without several cases of his beloved Number 6! Caswell Massey Number 6 is a sexy solid scent of Bergamot ,Orange Blossom , Rosemary and "Over 2 dozen aromatic oils"......I swear that you can almost feel the velvet waistcoats and leather boots when you wear it.

Shortly afterwards the apothecary was renamed Caswell Massey when John Rose Caswell formed a partnership with William Massey of New York. At that moment, Caswell Massey as it's always been known and loved was born! Other famous Caswell Massey customers included John Adams, Dolly Madison, Annie Oakley and Sarah Bernhardt and the very mysterious Edgar Allen Poe!

There are many of the original fragrances still available, Tricorn which is wonderfully green and spicy, Newport with it's nautical packaging and bracing citrus notes and Jockey Club which was rumored to have been one of the favorites of President John F. Kennedy. That being said, Number 6 is my all time favorite "weak in the knees", Caswell Massey cologne with the exception of their Bay Rum which is simply the sexiest, most sensational skin scent for a man that I have ever smelled. The Bay Rum should truly be renamed "Pirate", because it's just that provocative! It is filled with spice,musk and a bit of the sea, just a wonderfully old fashioned, virile sort of scent. Each of the fragrances presented come in many forms, there are classic aftershaves and balms, deodorants and soaps. All of the packaging is romantic and harkens back to a time in history when fragrance products were appreciated simply for their quality and not for their advertising dollars!

Caswell Massey's line of products is still very much intact, most of the fragrances and products that I fell in love with decades ago are still available today for purchase. Their line of toiletries for women are wonderful and the sweet almond and aloe products are simply beautiful. Luscious , creamy and smelling of sweet bitter almond, all of the creams ,lotions and balms in this line are delightful to the touch and wonderful for creating a very relaxing home spa. Their fragrances for woman are wonderful as well, not terribly complicated but very pretty. They are many single florals available like Lily of the Valley and Lilac and the very pretty and stunningly traditional English Lavender. All of Caswell Massey's fragrances for women come with beautiful add-on gifts like soaps and sachets bath gels and hand creams! They make decadently wonderful gifts for any woman that you'd love to pamper!

One of the delightful things about shopping at Caswell Massey is that they still have many of the Dr. Hunter formulations for sale as well as lots of gorgeous grooming products and things to make you feel as though you've stepped completely back in time to a much more civilized yet slightly dangerous place! Rose balms and blotting papers are still available for purchase as well as Sarah Bernhardt's favorite night cream. A romantic fool like me can hardly resist the temptation to own even a small part of Revolutionary History so I'm rarely without the Number 6, but I'm very sure that you'll find your own favorite if you spend enough time perusing the pleasures to be found within their website. There are only a few of the stores left and if you happen to live in a city lucky enough to have one you're in for a treat. If not, there are plenty of places to find these treats in person. The company website has a complete listing of stores all across the country that sell their products. Try them..you won't be dissapointed!

For more information please go to: http://www.caswellmassey.com/

Originally published in the Cleveland Examiner : http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-5804-Cleveland-Fragrance-Examiner~y2009m7d1-George-Washington-shopped-here--The-fine-fragrances-and-grooming-products-of-Caswell-Massey

Bond No. 9 - Creating your own New York Mood

2009-06-15T14:35:00.000-07:00

"Bond No. 9 is a perfume company that I love because of their undeniable infatuation with fun and fantastic marketing! Bond No. 9 is named for it's company's headquarters which live at 9 Bond Street in NOHO. I find the concept of Bond 9 nearly impossible to resist as it was created for the sole purpose of celebrating New York City and it fulfills upon this mission by creating adorable perfumes and fabulous packaging that is undeniably enticing......I mean who can resist the thought of a fragrance called Andy Warhol, Lexington Avenue? I'm sure that there are those weaker than me but I've yet to meet them!

Bond No. 9 is a series of fragrances built upon the neighborhoods of New York City and each is different and most of them fulfill upon their mission beautifully! I love Central Park with it’s fresh notes of verbena, bergamot and lime Blossom and New Haarlem with it’s jazzy notes of coffee, vanilla and patchouli sends me into a bohemian sort of swoon where I’d sell my soul for a Gitane’s , sans filter. I adore the Andy Warhol Silver Factory which reeks of incense and amber with it’s sexually androgynous touch of iris and violet and what about the oh so wanton Astor Place , a heady infusion of violet, freesia ,orris , musk ,amber and the notorious red poppy! With so many to choose from it’s hard to pick a favorite, but currently I adore Bond No. 9 Saks for Her, which is an absolutely stunning blend of tuberose, jasmine, gardenia ,vanilla and vetiver. Saks for Her and the equally delicious Saks for him create a balance of scent that is hard to resist. Which brings me to another point, Bond 9 fragrances are made to be layered and many of the fragrances are also presented in a delectable body silk that is absolutely luscious! "

Please enjoy the rest of the review at:

http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-5804-Cleveland-Fragrance-Examiner~y2009m6d15-Bond-No-9-New-York--Creating-a-New-York-mood

Cleveland Fragrance Examiner- YSL's Paris

2009-05-29T11:07:00.001-07:00

From today's Cleveland Fragrance Examiner:

"There are some fragrances that I always love, regardless of how many different variations of it appear over the years. Yves St. Laurent's fairly irrepressible scent "Paris" is one of them! For some reason, this is the perfume that I travel with the most frequently, maybe it's simply a matter of the power of suggestion, I mean come on, who couldn't resist a perfume named after the "City of Lights"! Yet I think that it's more than that. Paris is a very appropriate fragrance for a lot of different occasions, whether it be a wedding or an afternoon tea, or even a casual morning shopping in Manhattan with your sweetie. It's a fragrance that works equally well with denim or taffeta and I've definitely worn it with both. "

Please enjoy the rest of the review at :

http://www.examiner.com/x-5804-Cleveland-Fragrance-Examiner~y2009m5d29-Yves-St-Laurent--Paris

You're never too old......

2009-05-26T06:25:00.000-07:00

Last year on the 25th of July , my mother had a terrible stroke. She didn't linger long, which was a blessing for us all, she wasn't on life support and she flew gaily out of her body 6 days later. She and my father had been married for over 66 years, had 3 children together, traveled the world, created an incredible business and cherished each other with a type of grand passion that rivaled any that Liz Taylor and Richard Burton had ever known. When she was hospitalized 10 years ago for bypass surgery he never left her side and when he became ill over the last 5 years she spent all of that time taking care of him herself, refusing to let us do anything for them.

My mother was a fabulous cook and known for her dinner parties. I think that was one of the reasons that he adored her. She brought to him the life that he'd always wanted, but had never known how to create for himself. She was the always the heart of the ball, the life of the party and her fete's were lavish yet incredibly comfortable. Dinners at their home were always beautiful, she arranged her own flowers and set the table with the gorgeous dishes and sterling silver that had been passed down to her from her great grandmother. She always served things like poached salmon with dill sauce, Scalloped oysters and sweetbreads.Her beef tenderloin was legendary and by the same token, so were her stuffed peppers. My son has informed me that no matter what I do, my mashed potatoes will never be as wonderful as hers. This is probably true because for every 4 or 5 large potatoes used she would cream in a stick of butter. I kid you not and that doesn't even include the sour cream. They were truly delicious! Walking into her house for dinner we were always greeted by the most amazing fragrances. She truly loved her home and all that were invited to it were treated like family.

My mother also was the person who introduced me to raw oysters and camembert, Dover sole and taught me everything that I know about throwing a fabulous party. We weren't allowed paper napkins and we had to use fine crystal. She believed as do I that using these beautiful things were THE classic act of recycling. Never once did I sit down to dinner at her table where there weren't candles and wine. She loved the theatre of serving first courses and had dozens of recipes for them. I inherited her Coquille St Jacques dishes...darling little porcelain scallop shells for that delectably creamy appetizer of broiled scallops, cheese and wine. She also served crab bisque and other soups in her gorgeous collection of demitasse cups. While she was the gourmet cook, my father relished his role as gentleman of the house and he was proud of her. It was fun to watch them and a wonderful example to have growing up in a world where so much is disposable.

As my fathers condition worsened over over the years and he suffered year after year of mysterious illness we had to hospitalize him often. She would never go to see him without dressing exquisitely , putting on her lipstick, pearls and perfume. My dad called her his absolute dream wife and when she died, we worried endlessly about what would happen to him because we discovered very quickly that she had in her usual fashion been covering up for him.

Because dad requires 24/7 care , it was apparent that he wouldn't be able to stay in his home a sad decision but one that needed to be made. We chose a place for him that is right around the corner from me and the adjustment period has been hard because although it's lovely, it's nothing like his home and the food is horrible. I filled his room with beautiful things from their home and I sneak treats in there all of the time but he hasn't been very interested. We do have quite a good time though making fun of the Orthodox Rabbi's who patrol the place in search of bacon!

We have a lovely art therapist for dad who comes once a week to paint with him and fortunately there's a lovely young woman named Charlotte who sees my father all of the time and takes him out for coffee , ice cream and the occasional corned beef sandwich . He hasn't had much of an appetite, he's been so sad, so the time that he spends with her is so wonderful for him. The other day I noticed that he was looking better, a bit more robust than he'd been. I asked him about it and he just smiled and said that he'd met someone and that he was thrilled to be back at work doing open heart surgery and saving lives.

His nurse told me that he'd started to eat and that he was finally making some friends. I guess that Springtime works it's magic on the best of us because I got a hilarious text from Charlotte telling me that he'd told her that he couldn't stop looking at her breasts and that he wanted to snuggle up between them. I almost died laughing because Charlotte is a wonderful gay woman with a committed partner. Dad of course doesn't know this and she refuses to tell him. Charlotte is the reason that I actually believe in angels. My father now lives in a beautiful world of his own design and I love playing in it with him. At 90 years young, I think that he deserves it.

Last night for the holiday he came over for dinner and it was wonderful. I served all of his favorites, barbecued chipotle rubbed chicken, asparagus with chopped egg and vinaigrette in the French style, homemade guacamole and chips, fresh corn on the cob rubbed with butter, salt,pepper and herbs, a gruyere, onion and ham tarte' and of course the requisite platter of fine cheeses with fresh fruit and crackers. My friend Brenda brought a beautiful trifle, which we all knew that he'd love!

He sat in my living room talking with my friends and enjoying a glass of ale. He loved their company and fortunately for me they love his , so including him in the conversation is never difficult. He ate at least a pound of cheese on his own with an absolutely rapturous look on his face, enjoying the creamy brie, savoring the saltiness of the roquefort and devouring the Cotswald with equal abandon. He enjoyed an ear of corn but then went back to the cheese forgoing all else for his beloved camembert and pears!

Shortly afterwards he announced to everyone that it had been a pleasure and that it was time for him to go home. I took him back to his room and instead of the normal tears he thanked me and told me what a wonderful time he'd had. He made me promise to call him when I got home and then he shut his eyes happily and fell asleep. Walking out of there I realized that it had been worth it, all of it and that he had finally moved on. What I realized, was that there was no way to lesson his pain and that he'd had to go through it himself and in his own time. Yesterday I learned the greatest lesson that I've learned from him yet and that is that life can go on happily and lustily!

Truly, my heart is full......

TokyoMilk - Honey and the Moon

2009-05-21T09:20:00.000-07:00

Every now and then , I find a fragrance that delights me and makes me feel so chic and trendy that I can't possibly resist it. TokyoMilk Parfumerie's "Honey and the Moon is such a scent! I had never heard of TokyoMilk, but when I walked into Anthropologie yesterday I was greeted by a beautiful display of their products, lovely fragrances, pretty soaps and lip balms that are sweet and yummy enough to make you want to turn and kiss the nearest adorable man! TokyoMilk perfumes make me want to grab my passport and the next flight to Paris, with nothing but my wonderful husband, a DVF wrap dress and some La Perla lingerie!

The bottles for the TokyoMilk perfumes are wonderful, simple glass with vintage pictures on one side and a sleek brown label on the other. The names of their perfumes are   enchanting and take you swiftly into what we marketing types call "absolute vulnerability!" , that land where your imagination is so instantly transported that one push in the right direction is more than enough to make you reach for your purse. What intellectual wouldn't fall for a fragrance called "Poe's Tobacco", which true Bohemian wouldn't dream of a fragrance called "Lapsang su Chong". Could anyone with a case of Paris lust as severe as mine possibly resist anything called, "Let them eat cake", whose notes are sugar cane, coconut milk,vanilla orchids and white musk? I think not.

This aspiring Shakespearean wouldn't dream of passing up a fragrance called "Honey and the Moon" !   "Honey and the Moon" is a lovely and very original confection, coated with notes of sweet Honey, sugared violet, jasmine and sandalwood and one spray took me instantly to High Tea at the Dorchester Hotel in London, probably because this was the first place ever that I experienced the sublime sexy joy that is a candied violet.

Oh, I'll never forget that first violet! My mother and I always made it a habit to have tea every afternoon wherever we traveled and that particular afternoon I was presented with a lovely little tart that had a pastry creme scented with orange flower water and a crust lined with dark chocolate. Perched on top was a delectable little purple flower and I thought that it must be made of sugar. My mother laughed as I took my first bite and I was delighted to discover that it was indeed a real violet! It was an amazing thought to wrap my very young mind around, that flowers could be candy and I've hunted for them ever since, even making my own on occasion although I must admit that the violets that my sister brings me back from Fauchon in Paris are my favorites, bested only by the fragrant Laduree macoron's that she lovingly carries back by hand. But that's another story!

At just 28.00 dollars for a one ounce bottle, Tokyo Milk fragrances are an affordable and flamboyant indulgence! And while I'm at it, here's my recipe for those candied violets. All of this talk of tea is making me ravenous.......

All you need are violets, beaten egg white thats not frothy, superfine sugar and a soft sable paint brush. This is the time of year to make them because you can find fresh violets everywhere you roam. Just make sure to harvest them from areas that you know haven't been touched with pesticides because you will not be rinsing them. Paths along the woods are usually the best!

Dip the brush into the egg and gently apply the egg white very lightly to the violet, covering the whole flower or petal. Don't use too much , only enough to allow the sugar to stick. Then turn the violet upside down and while holding it over a plate , sprinkle with the superfine sugar to coat it evenly. Place them on a tray that you've line with parchment and allow them to completely dry. You can hasten the process a bit by putting the tray into a 150 degree oven with the door left ajar . They won't be around this long, but once they are completely dry you can store them for up to a year in an airtight jar. I've also done this with lavender buds and rose petals and this year I'm thinking about candying fresh nasturtium blossoms! Almost any small edible flower will do. Whichever you choose, you'll find them to be addictive and delicious!

For more information about TokyoMilk Perfumes go to:       http://www.beautyhabit.com/tokyomilk.html

Linked by the Sea.....

2009-05-20T13:02:00.001-07:00

My mother's natural Blue Gray pearls were actually her mothers pearls and her grandmother's and great grandmothers before her. They are beautiful and longer than opera length, their three strands wrapped around my neck still lay gently beyond my breasts. Even at their advanced age they are lustrous still and smell a bit like the essence of all of the women who have loved them.

They are the most beautiful color, silvery blue like the sea before a storm and I've always wondered about the patience of the divers that found them. Because they are natural pearls and at least 120 years old there is a whole other lineage of women that I'm linked to through them, Free Divers who often risked their lives to obtain these coveted beauties. There was no other way to collect pearls before the 20th century and sometimes the divers had to go as deep as 40 to 125 feet into the sea and because of the extremely fickle nature of natural pearl growth, any pearls found were extremely rare. To harvest the pearls that I now wear, women that I've never met had to brave uncertain tides, dangerous creatures and possible hypothermia. More important even than the stories of these pearls are the untold stories that I will never know, but that I can feel. Women who had no other way to feed themselves became pearl divers and were probably paid what amounted to a pennies to fashionably adorn my my grandmothers. I cannot wear them ever without acknowledging their true cost.

That being said....they are among the most sensuous things that I own, probably because of the natures of the women who wore them before me. I don't know anything of my great grandmother's except that they wore these to the operas and ballets and fancy balls that they frequented.

My grandmother who was dead before I was born but who I am said to most resemble wore them in a slightly different fashion. She was a painter, one of the original women in a famous New York City artists colony at the turn of the century, sensuous and very provocative, at least until she married my grandfather, a kind gentleman farmer who was probably a very settling influence. In this highly unorthodox and very worn sepia photograph there is a woman that I could recognize as myself wrapped naked in a bearskin rug and holding a long cigarette holder. She is draped in pearls.....my pearls.

When she died, my mother inherited them and wore them often. She would always wear them draped against gray silk and satin, nestled against her very ample chest. When I miss her the most, I go to my jewelry box and put them on. They still smell of her and it's a wonderful fragrance, lighthearted and giddy like the woman that she was when she was having fun being herself, always the belle of the ball.

Someday, I will hopefully have a granddaughter of my own to give them to. I will savor that moment and pass them on with all of the stories. They say that pearls contain the essence of the souls of all who have worn them. In that case I am truly blessed. The women in my family were and are all wild and wonderful and the pearls seem to take on the very wild nature of us all. I remember my mother wearing them once when I accidentally walked into my fathers studio late at night....she was lying like a beautiful odalisque and he was painting her. It was quiet and the canvas shone like his adoration. I've never forgotten that moment and neither have the pearls. They share their stories with me andI'm busy creating my own stories with them and those will be for another time.....

The smell of love.........

2009-05-16T06:39:00.000-07:00

I'll never forget when I first became intrigued by truffles. My husband and I were enjoying a gorgeous meal at Cafe' Boulud in NYC and I ordered the roasted chicken with truffle sauce. As I ordered, the darling french waiter looked at my husband with a knowing eye and a wink..... When he brought my order he placed it in front of me with grand aplomb and handed my husband an extra sauce spoon. A sauce spoon is one of those strange and in my mind totally essential accoutrements for eating well. It is basically a completely flattened tablespoon fitted with a notch and used to recover every delicious bit of a sauce!

I stopped for a moment and surveyed my plate.....Gorgeous slices of lemony roasted chicken lay before me and the herbs that had been used, some thyme and a bit of sage were still clinging to the crispy , buttery skin. There were beautifully roasted potatoes and a simple haricots vert with a julienne of fennel and feathery dill, proving to me once again that the French truly know what to do with a vegetable. All incredibly beautiful and lush, but it was the sauce that brought me to my knees........

It was a simple sauce, made from pan juices, butter and a bit of white burgundy. That alone would have been wonderful, but there were generous bits of black truffle laced all though the silkiness and it was impossible to miss the unmistakable scent of lustiness that permeated the dish. I was completely captivated and so was my husband. Eating it became an act of foreplay, slow and savoring sauce spoons clicking. Bread was used to sop up what the sauce spoons couldn't quite reach and at that moment I became totally enslaved, it was impossible to resist.

The truffle is legendary for it's supposed ability to excite the appetites. There's quite a simple reason reason for that...it smells just like the best kind of sex. French black or Italian white , say what you will of their rarity and of the exoticness of having an ingredient that is hunted by pigs and dogs alike. Yes , the concept is so very romantic...the image of a truffle hunter out in the woods searching for this fairly common looking bit of culinary treasure. We are simple creatures and the truffle Goddess as well as the men and women that beg for the fruits of her loins understand our passions well. That is one of the reason that a truffle can and will cost you a small fortune. They're seasonal foods and for that reason alone please avoid the cans of truffle juice and truffle peelings that you can find. I've never found any that lived up to my expectations and I truly believe that infusing them in fine oil is the best method for extracting the purest, sexiest flavor.

Give in for it's completely worth it. Fresh truffles can be infused into oil and if you place one in a jar of arborio rice for a few days you will have a risotto fit for the Gods...... Get a glass topped canister and a few fresh eggs and put the truffle in with eggs. Believe it or not the sensual aroma will permeate the shells and the scrambled eggs that you make will be divine. Just remember to cook them slowly, with lots of butter in a double boiler. This way the fine aroma will not be lost, the eggs will be creamy yet fully cooked and the little bits of the truffle that you've chopped and put into the eggs will be nothing short of ambrosial.

Since that first roasted chicken, I've spent a lot of time searching for truffle products, because I love them and my husband has an appetite for them that is never satisfied. You can get a wonderful truffled salt, truffle butters and many different kinds of pate's and infused oils. In the absence of a fresh truffle you can do what Isabel Allende suggests in her fabulous book Aprodite. She was taught by her grocer to chop up several black olives very fine and rinse them to remove any traces of brine. Placed in bowl that you've added some very good truffle oil to the olives will begin to completely smell of truffles and you can use them in the same way. Truffled mash potatoes are simply sublime..the ultimate in comfort food.

Which leaves me to one last thought.....a little bit of truffle oil mixed with a bit of rich dark chocolate dabbed in all of the right places tends to leave my husband just a little bit breathless......

To learn more about the fabulous fungi:

http://www.trufflesinternational.com/

http://www.earthy.com/Fresh_Imported__Domestic_Truffles_C32.cfm